Today says I need -

Strength:

Strength is a card of courage, determination and inner might. You are in a position to deal with whatever comes your way. You have reached a position of influence and no longer need to force your beliefs upon others. You are aware of the temptations that exist, but your ability to resist them is strong. Be careful not to take advantage of your power or risk becoming abusive and destructive. Listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts.




Good luck with that tarot cards.
Today's been crap.
I was all happy and excited at the beggining of the day and everything just went downhill from there.
I'm probably going to go curl up in bed and be generally upset and miserable now.
Or retreat to soft hip hop and head games.

=/

Welcome to uselessness.

I saw a man on fire today, and it was the catalyst for realising how hopeless and helpless I am when it comes to doing something worthwhile.

I guess that's why I want to be a lawyer. I guess I want to prove I can make a difference, a worthwhile difference, even if it's just to one person.

Meh.

I'm going to go do Facebook quizzes to find out if i'm a potato.



Oh, Dylan Moran was great on Saturday night.

"Every time that man smiles an angel gets gonorrea"

"Doing womens things, like stuffing rasberry jam into envelopes"

"Here - eat this chicken. From my hat"

By the time I got to Phoebe's it was late and everyone was already drunk.
I didn't drink, and I was tired, but it was good to see her again.
And she looked awesome :]

P.S i confused the words 'wizard' and 'potato' today.
How weird is that.

and...

"I want to be a lost poem in a stranger's coat pocket, that conveys the importance of you.
To assure you of my desire, to assure you of dreams.
I want all the possibilities of you in writing.
I want to give you your reflection, I want your eyes on me, I want to travel to the lightness with you and stay there, and I want everything before you
......everything before you to follow us like a trail behind me.
I want never to say goodbye to you, even on the street corner or the phone.
I want, I want so much...
I'm breathless.
I want to put my power into a poem to burn a hole in your pocket so I can sew it.
I want my words to scream through you.
I want the poem not to mean that much.
And I want to contradict myself by accident, and for you to know what I mean.
I want you to be distant and for me to feel you close, I want endless days when it's day and... nighttime never to end when it's night.
I want all the seasons in one day. I want the sun to set before us and come up in front of us.
I want water up to our waists and to be drenched by the rain, up to our ankles with holes in our shoes
....with holes in our shoes.
I want to think your thoughts because they're mine.
I want only what's urgent with you.
I want to get in the way of the barriers and I want you to be a tough guy when you're supposed to,
like you do already
....when you're supposed to.
And I want you to be tender, like you do already.
And I want us to have met for a reason and I want that reason to be important.
And I want it to be bigger than us, I want it to take over us.
I want to forget. I want to remember us.
And when you say you love me I don't want to think you really mean another place, and all the fun
we have in it.
And I want your smile always, and your grimaces too.
I want your scar on my lips, and I want your disappointments in my heart.
I want your strength in my soul and I want your soul in my eyes.
I want to believe everything you say, and I do.
And I want you to tell me what's best when I don't know.
And when you're lost I want to find you.
And when you're weary I want to give you steeples and cathedral thoughts and coliseum dreams.
I want to drag you from the darkness and kneel with you exhausted with the blinding light blaring on us...
and..."

Wow. This was incredibly touching. Perfectly imperfect:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw0s4C0g5SM&feature=player_embedded

Reowr.

I hate beansprouts. They're gross. And their texture is unpleasant in my mouth.

Anyway, now i've gotten that off my chest, my house is freezing. Absolutely, ridiculously, freezing. I left my jumper in the car, but it's actually probably colder outside, so I'm not going to go and get it.

Today was fairly boring, I chilled, went in late, got back some marks for stuff, then just proceeded to do nothing. Sweet, sweet nothing. Now I'm sitting at home eating Pad Thai....god it's good...minus the bean sprouts of course.

Saturday night I worked, Sunday day I worked, bought last minute presents, then came home and had thai food for din dins. Best. Food. Ever. Numnumnumnum.

Phoebe's 18th next weekend, themed: villians....

What do I go as?
Looks like Claudia and Demi are going late night shopping on Thursday...woo.

Hot dorrah.

Retreat was surprisingly worthwhile.
Met some amazing people and heard some stories that were truly inspiring.
I was amazed at the strengh some people have.

So a lot of vodka, and absinthe and even more Mother later, I was surprised.
Ate an incredible amount of candy.
Did crazy team games, played pool with one hand, passed an orange around a circle without using hands and a whole bunch of other obscure things.

Had a genuinely memorable time.

"It's like a huge gaping vagina"
"meg...."
"Hot dorrah"
"Goodness and Godness, just one letter of difference"..."Just like rap and rape"




There was a night that wasn't so good, but I think we've worked through it.
I hope we've worked through it.

I really feel like a caramel latte frappe from McDonalds...

Bree bree.

What an pandemic the concept of 'swine flu' is becoming.
What a ridiculous bunch of media hype.
I think I'll add it to the list of media monsters that are soon forgotton.

It can be on there with SARS, avian flu, the hadron destroyer, y2k and a plethora of other over blown topics.

It's awesome when people don't write back to your messages and you feel heaps discarded...mnyeh. Naw well.

I can't remember what's happened since last time I blogged, which has defeated the whole purpose of this blog in a way...how depressing. But anyways...

Last night I had every intention to go to Brendo's and just get utterly fucked up.
Unfortunately fatigue, stress and the cold decided I would rather sit in his loungeroom with Demi and watch 'Showgirls'....such a good film haha.

Today we bought his mummy a birthday present (a cute scarf) and then he came over to Jan's for dinner. Jan and Julie go away tomorrow and I'm housesitting until I go away on Wednesday.

I had good intentions to do work tonight, but they've fallen through, as usual.

I'm sick of good intentions not showing any results.